I ran four miles. Again. I still can't believe that's something I can say.

So before I talk about my run this morning I want to talk about my weight. I used to weigh in at noon on Tuesdays because that was the one meeting that my favorite leader led that I could get to. When I took a nanny job on Tuesdays I went back to weighing in on Saturday mornings. I decided to weigh in yesterday because I had to be at work at 11:30 today on top of fitting in a four mile run. I weighed in at 2:30 and it turns out I gained 2 pounds. Again. I DON'T GET IT. I did EVERYTHING right this week. I exercised every single day, I ran a total of thirteen miles, I didn't drink any diet Pepsi, I limited my sugar, I ate a ton of fruits and vegetables, I wrote down everything I ate and stayed within my points and I still gained two pounds. My leader was trying to be helpful and told me some cockamamie spiel about how it's a "falacy" that muscle weighs more than fat but at I build muscle the muscle holds onto water. I don't trust a thing that she says.

After my initial FREAK OUT, I started to think about it and realized that weighing in first thing in the morning before eating anything is very different than weighing in at 2:30 in the afternoon. Also, I have been doing this training program for almost two weeks and I can already tell how my body is changing. My legs are stronger and thinner, my stomach is thinner, my face is healthy and I feel better than I can remember feeling in a very long time. And then I thought about what's important to me. Yes of course I want to not be 262 pounds anymore (SO MAD TO BE BACK IN THE 260s) but I would much rather be training for a half marathon because with every run that I finish I'm proving to myself that I can do the things I didn't think I could. So this morning at 8:30 in freezing weather I bundled myself off to the gym and ran four miles. I wish I could explain to you the feeling I had during my run. I ran the whole thing at a 4.5 mph pace and about ten minutes in I realized that 4.5 mph has become an easy pace for me. I very distinctly remember when running 4.1 mph felt like sprinting and such a huge accomplishment. Halfway through I thought about pushing myself and running faster but I was really enjoying the run, my legs felt strong and my breathing was good and I just wanted to continue at that pace. But it was such an emotional realization for me that running 4 miles at 4.5 mph felt good.

Training picks up in mileage this week. My Tuesday/Thursday runs are moving from 3 miles to 4 miles and my Saturday long run this week (and for the next three weeks) is 5 miles. I was thinking/worrying about running five miles but after this morning's run I'm actually looking forward to it. We'll see how I feel after running 4 miles twice this week but I'm excited to see how it goes. I'm also really looking forward to Spring. I can't wait to be able to run outside.

Here's a picture I took of myself after my run.