I did it anyway

You know what? I don't want to do this anymore. The shine and novelty have worn off - it is week four and I do not want to do this anymore.

You know something else? I did it anyway. I have had a week away from my house, house sitting, and I used it as an excuse to eat terribly. Eating terribly made me feel terribly and made working up the energy and desire to run way more difficult than it needed to be. Then of course I started my period and I have terrible sadness/melancholy when I'm on my period and it was compounded by feeling physically and emotionally awful because of the way I've been eating so I woke up this morning and could not find the energy to go run. So I ate terrible food for lunch and spent five hours playing with babies and at 6:30 I got to the gym and forced myself to run. It was very hard. I had zero energy, my left leg was cramping and I had a stitch in my side. I stopped running at 20 minutes, walked for five minutes, and forced myself to run again until I had run a total of four miles at a 4.5 pace. My total mileage, with the walking, was 4.30 but I only counted the distance I ran.



Of course now I feel better than I've felt all day because running does that for me. It was hard and it hurt and doing it anyway felt so good. I came home, showered, put on my favorite fuzzy pink pajama pants and my favorite purple hoodie and I'm going to go to bed and hopefully wake up ready to keep going.

I have a playlist I listen to when I'm running. It's called my "Run Fast" playlist. My favorite song of the moment to listen to when I'm running is Fighter by Gym Class Heroes. Sometimes it comes on when I'm in the last five minutes of running and my body hurts and I'm tired and I don't want to be running anymore and it gives me that push I need to keep going.