End of summer

I don't know how people blog regularly. I want to do it, I think I should blog about this and then I just don't. Or I think, I should blog and I have nothing to say.

The summer is over and it has been a roller coaster.

Here's a recap:

I joined Weight Watchers on May 16th. I lost my job on May 17th. I spent the next two months looking for jobs, walking and running, trying not to eat my feelings, and feeling like I’d screwed my life up. In July I got hired as a teacher at a daycare. At the end of the month I went to the beach for a week with my family, during which time I found out that the daycare couldn't afford to hire me due to low enrollment. I came back from the beach, I got denied unemployment for “misconduct,” and I got hired for the college I worked for as a daycare teacher in an entirely different department, selling tickets in the performance arts center box office. I am exhausted just thinking about the emotional ups and downs of the last few months.

The New Haven Road Race was on Monday. Andy had registered me to run the 20k as a Christmas present (he really loves me ;)). I hadn't been running much at all during the summer, but I had been walking every day so I agreed that I would try to run the 5k without stopping. I had a goal in my head of finishing under 45 minutes but it felt a little like a pipe dream. When I ran my first 5k in March of 2012, I finished in about 55 minutes. But Sarah, Andy, Ben and our cousin Clayton were all running the 20k (12.4 miles) and I was motivated to push myself. It was tough. It was hot as anything and crazy humid and within the first five minutes I was soaked in sweat and wanted to walk. I don’t know how, but I just kept going. I kept thinking about how my dad had run this same course and how my siblings were running and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I kept saying to myself, “just finish this mile,” and then as I got more tired it was “just finish this half mile” and finally I could see the finish line and I ran as hard as I could. I finished with a time of 44:15, an average pace of 13:28 according to Run Keeper, the app I use to track my runs.

Of course I’m disappointed that I didn't run this summer and and that I didn't run the 20k but I’m actually really proud of myself and happy that I not only ran the 5k but finished it in such a good time. Running is hard on my body. It hurts. I've lost thirty-six pounds since May but I still weigh 267 pounds and that is a lot. And running hurts. But I've decided to keep going. In March, Andy is running the Rock and Roll Marathon in DC and I’m going to go down and run the half marathon. I have about twenty-six weeks to train. It still feels almost impossible, but after running three miles at a pace I am really proud of, I decided to at least try. The worst thing that can happen is I can't finish it.

Hopefully I'll be able to blog semi-regularly about the process. If you're reading my blog, thanks. And thanks for all the continued support.