Eating within Weight Watchers Points and exercising and training to run 20k is a lot easier when you're hopeful, when things are going well, when life is bright and shiny. It's a lot harder (feels impossible some days) when none of your job prospects pan out and you don't have anything but milk past its date in the fridge and you're wondering how you're going to pay your rent let alone buy gas and food.
Which is why I've had nothing to say for the last few weeks. Some days are near perfect, staying under Points, getting 8 Activity Points. Some days are far from it, sleeping until ten, eating everything I can touch.
The last four days have been more like the latter, though, and I woke up this morning determined to try and turn it around. Ate a healthy breakfast, tracked it for the first time since last week, cleaned my bedroom, reached out for some help. I had a job interview yesterday, though I won't hear either way for a few weeks. I have three part time jobs watching kids and I'm just trying to think about right now, this minute. What can I do right now to keep moving forward.
I read something the other day that really stuck with me and I've been carrying it around with me. It's from Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. "Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good."
Sometimes it feels like I move my feet in a tiny step forward and then the ground dissolves beneath me and I'm thirty steps from where I was. Today feels like I'm stuck in the mud, and it's taking every ounce of strength to lift my foot. But I did, and the next step is just a little easier.
Today I'm thankful to have taken a step forward, thankful to people who want to help me move forward, thankful to be feeling a little bit of hope.
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