Checking in. Wow it's been a long time.

I don't know why blogging, or rather blogging regularly, is so challenging for me. Maybe one day I'll get the hang of it.

I'm struggling a whole lot right now. This fall has been up and down on the scale. After having the summer to focus on Weight Watchers and exercise, I started working again (thankfully) but found it really challenging to work full time and find the energy to exercise and cook healthy meals.

I'm sitting at a total loss of about 38 pounds since May. The problem is I am unbelievably hard on myself and I am currently fairly depressed and all I can focus on is how it's only 38 pounds. Normally I try to focus on the positive but today happens to be a super negative day. It doesn't help that I've spent the last two weeks eating whatever I want and with the exception of a hike on Friday with my family, I haven't done any kind of exercise. I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this funk. I know why it's happening, it happens every year at this time, but I'm super conscious of it this year.

I'm going to try a little experiment this week because I am desperate to pull myself out of this. I'm going to pick three things (goals or what have you) to focus on for the day and try to let the rest of it go. I get very easily overwhelmed when I think about all the areas in my life I've let go. I start to feel panicky that there's no way I can do everything.

For the rest of the day, my goals are:

1. go grocery shopping after work.
2. take a shower.
3. prepare something for lunch to take with me to work tomorrow.

Of course there are a lot of other things that need taking care of, but given the way I've felt the last few weeks, getting overwhelmed and not doing anything instead of picking one or two things I can do, I'm going to just focus on doing three small things. And tomorrow, either before work or on my lunch break, I will make another list. I'm going to try this for the next seven days and see how it goes. Right now I'm feeling frantic to stop what feels like a downward spiral that's moving very quickly.

I'm going to try to make another post tonight as a check in for myself that I've done these things. I'll post a picture of one of the things I've completed.