I ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. It was good for the first serving and then it was a compulsion to keep eating even after I was no longer hungry for it. It just seemed like the thing to do - just keep sitting there, eating that stupid ice cream. Of course now my stomach is upset and I feel like a failure.
But I tracked it, I plugged it in and ended up going into the weekly 49 points Weight Watchers gives. I have 29 left for the week on top of the 24 activity points I've earned since Thursday. So I'm alright, still on track to lose weight this week, but I hate that I wasn't even hungry and I ate it anyway. I was supposed to throw it out - it's been sitting in my freezer - so that when a night like this hit I'd have to choose between eating a banana or eating yogurt.
But I guess no weight loss is ever perfect. I could sure do without the self loathing, but I have a food plan for tomorrow and a gym plan for after I'm done spending the day babysitting.
All I can really do is pick myself up and trudge forward.
And now for a little perspective, gratitude. Today I am thankful that I was able to cheer my sister and brother-in-law on while they ran their first marathon. It was a cold, rainy day, but it was incredibly inspiring to see 4,000 runners fighting through pain. It was amazing to see Sarah looking so strong and confident and to see Ben just tear it up at the end, giving it every thing he had. I can barely run two miles but as I was standing there cheering I kept thinking, maybe that could be me someday. I don't know, probably not, right now 20k in September seems impossible. But it was an incredible experience and I'm so happy I got to get outside myself and do something for two people who've been nothing but supportive and encouraging and loving to me.
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